Its all about the lifestyle change

About a month ago I decided enough was enough and I needed to do something about the way I was feeling about myself. I got in touch with a friend who was doing an at home workout program and I decided to give it a try! BEST THING EVER.

After having a baby it gets really hard to try and find time to go to the gym. I am not about to go drop her off a one of the childminding centers they have in some gyms, power to you if you can stomach it but I have a hard enough time leaving her with close family! And it is to hard to go later on in the day when all I wanted to do was relax at home with my babes and my man! This program is 30 minutes a day 7 days a week. It seems like 7 days a week would be a lot but for 30 minutes a day you cant go wrong. 

Before starting the program I did not expect it to be as tough as it was. Common its 30 minutes. Well let me tell you 30 minutes can seem like a long time when you are working as hard as you are. It kicks your ass three ways from sunday! And I love it!!

Changing my lifestyle before getting pregnant was always a struggle for me. I would work really hard and then something would happen to set me back and I would give up. I think giving up like that so many times made me feel like a failure. You get it stuck in your head that you are letting everyone in your life down because you could not stick to it and get to where you want to be, but hold on a minute.....Why are you letting everyone else down? They are not carrying your extra weight, or emotional baggage. I came to realize in the last 6 months that there is nobody else I should be doing this for except myself. I am the one struggling to look at myself in the mirror, I am the one who is tried all the time, and I am the one who needs to change it. No one else can do it for me. 

I have also realized that losing weight and being healthy i snot about some fad diet that is taking the media by storm, or depriving your self of some of your favorite foods, or even working out 2 hours every day. It is about changing your lifestyle and the way you look at the food that goes into your body and the way excersizing not only changes the physical aspects of your body but the mental as well. A lot of woman and men do not have the time everyday to spend hours in the gym and nor is it necessary. If you can get to a gym, GO! Being able to the have all the equiptment around and at your disposal is fantastic but if you cant get to the gym then find a really great at home workout that you can do in the compfort of your living room or even utilize the outdoors! It does not have to be anything fancy, I am doing a straight forward 30 minute workout that changes each day and in 3 weeks I lost 9 lbs and 10.5 inches!! It can be done from home and once I realized it could be I was gold!

It takes away alot of the excuses we struggle with everyday. And let me tell you, if your excuse is time like mine is thats crap! A 30 minute workout is 2% of your day. I love TV...WAY TO MUCH but I do and I do not feel bad about it. I run the workout video through the my computer so my rule is that if I want to watch one of my shows I need to do my workout while I watch and it amd its a win, win.

There is alot to be said when it comes to people who can juggle 30 things at once and still make time to workout and fuel your body with healthy foods and I applaud people who are able to run through the day on full speed and still get that workout in. I used to think that I couldnt spend my day like that, and yes I would really rather not spend my day moving at full speed. I am a naturally lazy person and I am a procrastinator at heart but what I refuse to do at this point in my life is to let my laziness and procrastination tendancies let me continue to spiral out of control with my weight and health. 

It is time I do this for me and it is time I start to look in the mirror and love what I see. It takes time but if I can do it then anybody can. You just have to make the decision to start and take it one day a time because it won't be easy. But the end result will be worth every single tear,sore muscle and drop of sweat I promise! 

Breastfeeding.....Not for the faint of heart

   Book after book and doctor after doctor will tell you generally the same thing when it comes to breastfeeding. The ample nutrients that it provides baby is important for their health and growth especially early on, it can significantly reduce the risk of; SIDS, development of allergies, obesity and can reduce stress levels in the mother which will decreasing her chances of Post-Partum Depression.

   What the books do not tell you is how difficult and challenging it can be for some women to provide that form of nutrients for their baby. Not only can it be physically challenging because of supply or latching issues it can be mentally challenging because you are their only source of food, therefore where baby goes you go and vice versa.

   I went into my 3^rd trimester convinced that I would breastfeed no problem. It would be an amazing experience for me and E and I would be able to provide her with that nutrients. Let me tell you from the moment she was born it was the most difficult thing I have ever done, next to giving birth to her. From the very first attempt at breastfeeding she had latching issues. Her mouth was very tiny and she was very impatient. When she didn’t get it right away she would have a meltdown, or as I like to call it, she would RED ZONE. This made it very difficult for both of us. I wanted her to have more patients and work with me a little bit and she wanted me to get the food in her mouth THE FIRST TIME no questions asked.

   Not being able to breastfeed in the hospital was tough, but with a click of a button a nurse would be there to assist you and try and get her latched. Also because she was sleeping so much they were not forcing it, they just wanted ample opportunities throughout the day and night. And if she RED ZONED then they would tell me to just focus on skin to skin contact and try again in a while. When they discharged us the next day it became that much more challenging. She still wouldn’t latch and because I thought from the beginning I would breastfeed no problem we did not purchase a breast pump. After a long night full of tears, anxiety and a hungry baby I started to feel like a failure as a mother. I felt like this was something I should be able to do, and I should be able to figure it out. But we just couldn’t seem to get there.

   Throughout the week it progressively became more difficult. On Friday when the midwife came to our house she told us that E was too far below her birth weight and we had to start supplementing with formula to get her weight back up. After the appointment was over and it was just the hubby and I at home I broke down. You feel helpless and lost. I have to say that even though my hubby couldn’t provide her with the food like I could, I can’t imagine doing it without him. Just having him there in the middle of the night while I am in tears and E is in tears because she is just as frustrated as I am made all the difference in the world. Someone to tell you that you are a good mother and that everything would work itself out.

   After more trial and error we discovered the infamous nipple shield. And it is exactly what it sounds like. A little silicon shield that acts as a nipple over yours to help with latching. This helped for a little while but in typical E fashion she began to red zone every time we fed and stopped latching altogether. We finally got to the point where in order to get her to eat I had to pump and we had to bottle feed her.  On top of having latching issues I was having supply issues which meant that when E was asleep I was pumping to have a bottle for her next feed. And when she was awake I was feeding and pumping. It became a 24 hour ordeal. After 2-3 weeks of this I was at my wits end. No sleep, no patience and mentally exhausted in a way that I cannot even explain. After a week of having to supplement with formula because my supply couldn’t keep up with her, I finally decided that I was not going to pump all hours of the day and night and I would continue to supplement with formula and give her what breast milk I was able to pump.

   You reach a point where the sanity of you and your child needs to matter, and at the rate I was going post-partum depression was well on its way if not already there. You cannot shake the feeling that you’re failing as a mother and that no matter what, if it means you pump all day and night, you SHOULD be giving your child breastmilk, but how many of us were raised on formula…..and look how we turned out, just fine.

   The bottom line is that if you are one of those women who are able to breast feed exclusively and successfully, YOU GO GIRL. And if you have the patience and perseverance to stick to it and eventually make it work, YOU ROCK. But if it comes down to either giving your baby formula or turning into a mother on the brink of a mental breakdown just to breast feed your baby, go with the formula!!! Yes we would all love to breastfeed, ideally. But unfortunately for many women it does not come easy and once in a while it does not come at all and THAT IS OKAY! Know that no matter what you have to feed your child you are an amazing mother and woman. And whatever choice you make, it is the RIGHT choice for YOUR baby and nobody can tell you differently.

   Do not give up if it does not happen right away, try as many different things as you can. Something that I did not do but I wish that I had was, to attend a breastfeeding clinic or connect with my local lactation consultants even before E was born. This is something I HIGHLY suggest you do either before babes is born or right after. Knowing more before you bring your little miracle into this world is better than knowing too little. Just know that in the end if it does not work out the way you want, it is not the end of the world. It is the end of breastmilk…. but it is also the beginning to a happier mommy and a happier baby. 

Labour and Delivery...Expect the unexpected

   Any woman can tell you that throughout pregnancy there is always a common topic for thoughts and questions. What is labour going to be like? Will I be able to handle the pain? What I can tell you is that no advice can help you prepare for it in any way. Every woman has different experiences and every woman’s body will respond to labour and delivery in a different way. I want to share my experience, not because I think it will help prepare you but because I think that no matter how it turns out you WILL be able to handle it and you will come out of it feeling like you deserve a freaking medal for what you just accomplished.

   After spending most of the day and previous night at RCH waiting to be induced we finally made it home around 9pm. Doctors advised us that cramping could start throughout the night but that I would probably need another does of the induction gel in the morning, So we made an appointment for 8am. Fast forward to 6am after a sleepless night of constant cramping and moving back and forth from a hot bath to a hot shower to ease the pain. We finally called the midwife to let her know that the pain was getting much worse and I didn’t think I would be able to go on throughout the day without any type of medication. She informed us that RCH was so busy they were sending people to Ridge Meadows hospital and to hold off as long as I could. After another 30 minutes I couldn’t take it anymore and the midwife told us to go to RCH and hope that because we just showed up they wouldn’t turn us away.

   Let’s rewind for a minute. I continuously told myself throughout my pregnancy that I was not going to swear up and down that I was going to have a 100% natural birth, but I also was not going to jump on drugs the first chance I got. That way if the time came when I needed the drugs I wouldn’t feel like a failure because I couldn’t handle the pain. There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING that can prepare you for the type of pain you feel when your body is preparing to birth a human being.

   We arrived at the hospital and at 7:30am I was climbing into the hospital and within 2 minutes my water broke. That’s when all hell broke loose. When people say that labour gets really intense after your water breaks they are not lying! Within minutes of my water breaking I was having contraction after contraction with no more than a 30 to 45 second break in between each. After experience the most intense pain in my life for an hour and being denied all drugs for precautionary reasons the nurse checked to see how dilated I was and I was a WHOPPING 1-2cm……FML. At this point I felt like my world had shattered….a little dramatic I know but when you are surviving on no sleep and everyone is telling you no over and over you can’t help but want to release that inner child and throw a on the floor, kicking and screaming kind of tantrum. After another 30 minutes the contractions were so intense I began to push involuntarily. And again they said NO, NO,NO! You’re not dilated enough, breathe through the contractions but DON’T PUSH.  Well sorry people, I would to switch positions with you so I can tell you to “Just Breath.” 

   After asking the nurse over and over again to check to see how dilated I was she was shocked to find that I was at 9cm!!!!! E wanted to make her entrance faster than we expected. After calling the midwife who was currently upstairs with another family not expecting me to progress until later that afternoon we made our way to the delivery room.

   After just over an hour of pushing E finally made her appearance and it was the most remarkable yet intense experience of my entire life. Within a matter of seconds your lives change. Your priorities change. And the amount of love you exude is beyond measure. And on top of that you spend the next few days wishing someone would come and hand you that shiny gold medal you deserve!

The count down to D day

  Moving through pregnancy at what feels like a snail’s pace you do not realize the change that is about to smack you in the face. It’s a fantastic and amazing change in every aspect but it certainly does smack you in the face. 

  I was 9 months pregnant and counting down my last few days before maternity leave and making daily lists of all the things I wanted to get done before E arrived. It seems easy enough considering I had 2 weeks off until E was due to make her grand entrance. Since everyone more or less promised me I would go over my due date because it was my first baby, I thought 2 weeks+ would be plenty of time to get all of the things done that I didn’t do earlier on in the pregnancy. I learned the hard way. When people tell you to get your house baby ready earlier on in the pregnancy they are telling you for a reason. When you are 8-9 months pregnant and waddling around with that Pregnancy Swag, exhausted from the lack of sleep because your sore in places you did not know existed and baby is having a dance party while your trying to get some shut eye, the last thing you want to do is organize boxes and finally get to that spring cleaning that should have been done.....in the spring.

  Well fast forward to the Friday before my maternity leave starts and my midwife tells me I have high blood pressure and protein in my urine) for the second time in that week. Both of which are symptoms of early Pre-Eclampisa. At this point the midwife tells me that I need to go in for testing at RCH, where we were going to deliver, just to make sure everything is normal. After some testing and a whole lot of waiting and boredom the doctors decided that an induction was the best thing for me and E in order to avoid any more complications. SURPRISE baby is coming in the next few days and you did not do one thing on your list!!! Cue panic and frantic phone calls.

  With the surprising news that I am going to be induced within a matter of hours....I made some frantic phone calls to my hubby to leave work, go home to pick up our baby bag and pack my hospital bag....yes I should have done it a week ago. On top of that I am regretting all those moments where I tried to coax E to come out early because mommy was tired to waddling around and feeling like a whale. Now I am panicking…..am I ready for this? Am I ready to become a mom? Either way it was going to happen and I knew when it did it would be scary as all hell but the love and joy would out way all of the fear.

-Kales<3

Who am I and why am I here?

   Most of you who are taking the time out of your day to read this know me and know me well. For those of you, who don’t, allow me to introduce myself.

   I am a 27 year old new mom. Though that is not all I am. I am a daughter, a sister, a wife, a niece, an aunt and a friend. I am self-conscious but confident, I am a leader and a follower, I am open minded but a little hard headed and I am built to love. Whether it is people, things or ideas…I just love in all aspects of life.

    I have always loved to write. Not always gracefully but I write as I would tell a story to others. I try and lay a foundation, throw in some key facts and important points with a few jokes and sarcastic comments around the edges just to make it fun. I don’t always use big words but when I do I feel oh so sophisticated.

   I hope to share some of my experiences in this blog. Whether it be helpful to others or just something fun to read when you have a few minutes to spare. I will share my health and fitness journey with you, I will share stories about E and all the craziness that comes with spending my days with a 5 month old and I will just share moments in my life with you, because why not?! It’s fun to read about the stuff that goes on behind closed doors, or open doors because let’s face it…..we are all a little nosey deep down, we just might not admit it.

   After becoming a mom and spending long hours in the middle of the night trying to breastfeed or just snuggling with E on the couch it gave me a lot more time to think. About life, about my health, well-being and about all of the things that I wanted my daughter to have as she grows up. I want her to have confidence, the confidence that I once had. The strength to follow her dreams no matter where they take her and be confident in her choices. I want her to feel love and to love others. I want her to be kind and I want her to be healthy and make good choices for her body.

   After battling with my weight for as many years as I have, giving birth to E was the light bulb that went off. I refuse to be one of those moms who can’t run and play because she is tried or who won’t go swimming because she is embarrassed. I want to make better choices for myself and for my family so she is brought up with those choices being a normal way of life. The first 2 months of motherhood were really tough. E would not latch and breastfeeding was a battle, day in and day out. We will get into that on another post, but because of that I did not make the changes I wanted to until now.

   Now 5 months later, I am still a new mom, navigating my way through life. Good days and bad days it is all been an incredible experience and it is all a blur. 5 months has flown by and it scares me to think about how fast the remaining 7 short months of my maternity will follow suit.

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read my stories!! I hope you will come back to read the ones I have coming your way!!

-Kales<3